Heath's Random Thoughts

Great Article on Self Doubt

I just came across an article on cnn.com called "Squashing Self Doubt." It was a great article that reminded me a lot of what I went through when I was younger. I lot people describe me as outgoing and extroverted. Which is true. I am not easily intimidated by social situations and rarely get too worked up by what people think about me. It wasn't always this way though....

When I was younger, say about Junior High to early High School years. I was socially crippled by the constant thought that everyone was observing me, talking about me behind my back, snickering at me, my appearance, how I acted, etc. It was horrible. It made it almost impossible to function in social settings and actually made things more awkward than what I "thought" people thought already. So, the more I acted like I didn't belong and was an outsider, the more people treated me that way. I had very few friends and forget about dating. I was a noob to the social lifestyle. I am not sure when but somewhere in my first year or so of High School, I started gaining some confidence and all of the sudden I started to notice a greater expansion in my group of friends and acquaintances. I started getting invited to parties more and even began seeing interest from the ladies. After reading this article it dawned me that this is exactly what I did. I finally started asking myself, "So, what if someone is talking about you, noticing you or even laughing at you? Are you really all that happy fading into the background where you are alone?" So I started making an effort to engage people more. Sure, it caused a few uncomfortable moments, but the more I did it the more I was treated like I belonged. The more confidence I developed the more I realized people hadn't really been paying that much attention to me in the past and really didn't know what to think of me. I was passive and was letting them define me rather than getting out there and defining myself. I decided that I wasn't going to let others tell me who I was but rather let them know who I am. It was a liberating feeling. I am so glad that I fought through that point in my life because now I have a large network of friends and acquaintances and tend to stand out at work. And if I do meet someone who doesn't like me, I just chalk it up to a bad match and brush it off and move on. Not everyone is going to like you and they have every right to their opinion. But you can definitely make yourself more approachable with some self-confidence and that starts with realizing the social magnifying glass isn't focused on you as much you as you think and if you embrace who are and treat people right, respect their right to be who they are then a whole other world of opportunity opens up to you! I hope this article was as inspiring for you as it was for me. It even helped me understand that there are still areas that I can be working on!

Labels: Article, News, Personal

posted by Heath @ 11:47 AM